it was like his penis was on wheels.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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