no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
