My first STD was from a foam party
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
