i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
