Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
