this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
