I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
