He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize