im six kinds of drunk right now
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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