Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
