ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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