so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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