It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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