What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
