so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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