I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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