I can text with my tongue
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
