Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
