I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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