Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
