Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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