Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize