Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
