i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
