I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
