Non-Jews are for practice
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
