Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I will die if light touches me.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
