The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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