it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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