I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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