Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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