I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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