dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
