you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize