I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize