I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
