I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
