In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
