pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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