...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Only a mothe r could love this liver
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I would fuck him just for his dog
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
