just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize