Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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