My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
