i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
