I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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