he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
