Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
