he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
