You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
