what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
