Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
