I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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