woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
