Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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