YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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