my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
