never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
