that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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