My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
